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Honorary Dork Kaya Taulbee is an official honorary member of the Dorkside. Welcome newly appointed dork. {= D -Blademonkey |
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Venture a brief venture into a specified abstract... It's been interesting. Nothing ventured nothing gained doesn't really map one to one in an expectations game. The unaccounted tally of unshed conventions, not personally but from others, seems to be the real roadblock. There's a sense of uncertainty that most are afraid to pierce, perhaps for good reasons, but still fear. yet another judgment. It rough to realize that you end up being the person you didn't want to be. Somewhere along the way, you have to shed all of the rust until you're left with the core. Or at least a core you had self perpetuated before the distractions, before the bias, before the fear. Can it be that I do not remember beyond the fear? that seems right, but I try to look past it. It takes something of a better person, ironically a judgment, to put you back in place. That's rather easy if you put yourself down enough, you'll find positive value in everyone. Though, only a few can speak straight to the heart. Few have gone through the same path. And fewer still you would follow. Why is it we hold those few in such high regard? Perhaps to be able to return the favor to another from that opposite perspective, some day, one day. Perhaps there's something else, and it has yet to be defined (oh how i love the safety of the obscure). realizing that your perceived value differs greatly from what you end up contributing will humble you. Specifically if what your contributing seems to be misdirected, or at least, misunderstood. The issue then is somewhat of a communications marketing campaign that fails when you don't have reality checks. The harsher the reality checks the better your algorithm for shedding the unnecessary. seems to become old pretty fast. I think perhaps you have to learn from the greater minds. Why is it that the simple answers don't make me feel like they are simple. Am I just looking for complexity and not happy when i don't find, or rather entropy? Perhaps it's time to narrow the filter of the social experiment and aim for accuracy. The simple answer echoes in the back of my mind, "maybe you try too hard". Maybe so, but I'd rather have this side of the extreme than it's apathetic twin. I spent a lot of time on behavioral predictions and conclusively realize that it's more based on the presence of effort (and it's driving force) than the comparable "revealed preference". perhaps, the doors can stay open, perhaps i can unfilter the windows to the outside. Can't see my own reflection, but I can trust the projection that others see. Maybe that's the trick, or as one would have told me: Maybe, there's no trick. It's just really really simple and you're over thinking it. Perhaps i don't have the prerequisites for this lesson . . . -Blademonkey |
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relative axioms It's a generally understated fact that Monkey knows only what he sees, unless you consider that monkey sees with many different eyes. The fervent truths that we all hold so dearly, to which part of our identities are intertwined are subject for revision. It is only with the rather larger number of compatriots that thoughts, notions and thusly axioms are born. but what of their passage, what of their fight into the mainstream train of thought. Do axioms and paradigms share an lonesome road, Where the paradigm seeks to change and the axioms seeks to keep? The only axioms i have truely known were those which i have felt, those which i have solid memory of, and yet that too shall pass. is it our plight to think of ourselves as single ephemeral beings or to know of the lasting power of a hive mind. The one that permeates regardless of fear, regardless of distractions, regardless of conventions. Am i to think only of myself of what i am able to prove to others? Am I so into the idea that I must make a mark somewhere, lest I'll be forgotten, or worst, never known? Am I to know, without guidance that I want more than what's presented to me? Who are we to differ from the solidarity if our solitude was a product of it's benefits? The mere interpretation of reality is much like version of playing moonlight sonata, not exactly the same, but close enough for some to recognize it. So then where is the value in a perfect replication of the original, and how is that possible if even the originator is not able to play the tune of our sanity the same way twice? The axiomatic thought process that pervades most of this social atmosphere is limited by its scope of understanding. Self evidence is only referenceable if the subject matter has been exposed to the beholder. Why must we label crazy people crazy? Why not consider that it may possible that although their logic is absent of known rational, that there is one and we are too feeble to ascertain it's scope. Tossing the unknown into the basket of dysfunctionality does not stop there, but it's rather symbolic of how we process many other uncategorizable notions. What makes it so that I feel like i can say this, that I should say this. Unfortunately, not having unshackled myself from the need to explain what and why i do things, the answer is quite simple, because i dont know. I don't know and I don't pretend to ever know, i enjoy the moment and all that is implied with it. The shared memories, however fleeting resonate louder than any hammer beating on an I-Beam. it's for the moments that i seek, the unabridged decisions of this celestial experiment of life on Earth. What if we were here as an accident? what is the universe forgot to use galactic contraception? would that make our presense any less, or any more? Does it matter? -Blademonkey |
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Run amongst the walkers Desperate for attention,
Same old gig, the look, the right fit,
The speed, the rush, the instantiation,
the blind confidence drives them forward,
the deaf courage vilifies all else as cowards.
They run despite the walkers,
-Blademonkey |
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What lingers beyond the illusion ? or so it would seem . . . If we are thought something early, it is how to behave. It is what to do in certain circumstances and situations. What we create from our actions is a perpetual state of inheritance and a deniability that circumvents our contrition based mechanics. Hiding in our faultless cast at a blameless existence. We mask our intentions in adopted stigmas and approved consensi. Faultering only when the uncharted is revealed, and revered only when sorting the abstraction of our foleys to a concede semi existence. Forever masking the reason of essence, the fervor of masses washing over the true significance of the singular. A dampened soul breeds anew, with each inherited word being shed again. Vicious cycle of physiology dictates the needs that the grand vision has aimed to suppress. The agony of the few masked by the belief of the many, tributized by the artful pain of an imbued sickness. What of the core that wanders? what of the door of wonders? What say the winds of change that tempt our every possible decisions? Would we be able to answer the questions of our reborn image? Who are we really listening to? Ourselves or the ones we have been taught to be. It's all so easy to point out, so we hide behind our words. We use our groups as a veil to mask our own passions, and we perpetuate the idea of what we're supposed to be even if we don't like it. So should I do about it? -Blademonkey |
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